CONFESSIONS OF A SELF-HATING GEEK: "...And The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth!"

So I went to the New York Comic Con this weekend at the Jacob Javits Center, with the intention of writing a hilarious post about all of the freaks and weirdos that we're there...about how they give my hobby a bad name...about how they don't seem to understand the concept of deodorant...about how pathetic it is when they show up out-of-shape and in costume...and I even went armed with a camera to put some evidence up to prove my point. While walking through the main doors and making my way up to the Exhibit Hall, I realized something...

I'm a fucking asshole.

You see, with all of my snarkiness and "better-then-you" attitude I almost lost sight of something really important...but we'll get to that in a second.

What made me realize that I was a "fucking asshole" (or to be more precise, a "fucking condescending, judgemental, holier-than-thou asshole") was a mom pushing her wheelchair-bound son through the aisles...it was the look on that boy's face. He looked like he was around 17-18 years old, and while I'm no doctor I'm willing to say that his condition was severe enough that he pretty much needed supervision. But not on this day...this was HIS day. With a smile so big it looked like it might just leap off of his face, this young man was in...his...element! I made my way over to where they were, by one of the many vintage and back issue comic collectors. As he lost himself in the colorful images adorning the back walls, I said to the mom, "Great convention! Are you guys havin' a good time?" She looked up at me, smiled, and them began telling me about how great this was, how many people were there, how much better it was this year, etc. It was incredibly nice and as we were getting ready to do that "there's-not-much-left-to-say-so-let's-awkwardly-end-this-conversation" mambo, the mom looked down at her son and then back to me. She was still smiling, but I could see that some tears had started to form. With all of the things that went on and all the things I heard this past weekend, it's that last line from her that I still remember:

"I take him to these things because of how they make him feel. Even if it's for one day, he doesn't just think he can walk...he believes he can fly."

And with that, she wiped her eyes, wished me a happy convention and turned her attention back to her son.

...And that's when I came to the "I'm-a-fucking-asshole" epiphany. See, who am I...WHO ARE ANY OF US...to make them feel less about what they love because it doesn't fit some bullshit "adult standard"? It opened my eyes to something I've been guilty of for years: I'm a self-hating geek. I've been collecting comic books for almost 32 years now, probably two-out-of-three of my favorite television shows are genre-related and I still love professional wrestling. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't watch the news or look up at the sky and wish that I had super powers to make the world better. Comic books taught me how to read and saved me from the types of things children shouldn't have to deal with. Television taught me how to act as an adult, and how to treat other people. Who am I to turn my back on my own people?

So now I embrace it...I embrace every smelly Dragonball Z fan, every out-of-shape Wonder Woman, every comic book fan who can tell you the entire Avengers line-up from 1978. These are my people, and their devoted love to their passion should be celebrated...not mocked and scorned. Besides, it's not like we're going anywhere...and our legion continues to grow.

Don't believe me? Guess what President Barack Obama likes? Spider-Man and Conan comic books. Guess what he did when he met Leonard Nimoy? He gave him the Vulcan salute and urged him to, "Live long and prosper." See, "growing up" doesn't mean that you have to grow old. And really, is it any different then people who dress up and paint their face to watch a game or women who try to imitate the ladies on "Sex and the City"? We're all geeks...it's just that some of us prefer a Superman cape while others prefer a pair of Jimmy Choo's.

So the next time some bag-of-dicks starts putting down your love of science fiction, role-playing, comic books, etc., tell them to go frak themselves and suck your taj.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta' check the message boards to see what everyone else thinks about the ending to "Secret Warriors" #1. Nick Fury? Hydra? REALLY?!?