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Monday, March 2, 2009

RAY'S RANTS: This...That...The Other Thing


Wow! It feels great to be back...full of piss-n-vinegar and ready to kick the tires and light some fires!

In the immortal words of the Dave Matthews Band, "So much to say...so much to say..."






THIS! So it's been a little over a week since the Oscars, and I have to say...it was pretty damn good. It was interesting to have an actor host after years of comedians, and I think Hugh Jackman pulled it off. A couple of questions, though...

*  Ummm...how many ORIGINAL musicals is Hollywood actually making?
*  Who expected Styx to get a shout-out during the Oscars?
*  Come on...aren't you a little disappointed Mickey Rourke didn't get a chance to get on a live mic?
*  If you're a Best Supporting Actor Nominee this year, how soon in did you know that you weren't going to win against Heath Ledger?
*  Where the FUCK was Jack Nicholson?!?


THAT! THE WINNER OF THE 2009 "COWSIE" AWARDS CONTEST: lizka9

Congratulations lizka9! A one-of-a-kind ...BECAUSE COWS MAKE DELICIOUS! souvenir prize is on its way! Thanks to everyone to who submitted...we'll be having another contest coming soon.


THE OTHER THING! For those of you who've been asking, I feel that NOW it can be told...

THE ORIGIN OF "...BECAUSE COWS MAKE DELICIOUS!"



THIS! Was Gov. Bobby Jindal the "best" minority Republican the GOP could put out there against President Obama (God, I love saying that!), or was he the "sacrificial lamb" for the Grand 'Ol Party? Either way, this video should be shown at colleges and universities across the country on how NOT to speak in public:




THAT! For my "Friends of the 4:20" out there...oh, how the times are changin'!


THE OTHER THING! So let me see if I get this straight: on NBC in the fall, we have:

10:00pm: Jay Leno
11:00pm: LOCAL NEWS
11:30pm-ish: Conan O'Brien
12:30am-ish: Jimmy Fallon
1:30am-ish: Carson Daly

As a white guy, I think I have the right to ask: Isn't that a shitload of white guys to watch in one night, and then five nights a week? Seriously, can we stir-up the pot just a little bit? Maybe someone could give Chelsea Handler a call?  Though I have to give SERIOUS props to Jimmy Fallon...damn good first night even with that tool Robert Deniro (Boy, movies like RIGHTEOUS KILL start to make you forget that this guy was in THE GODFATHER, PART II).



THIS!  Q:  What do these three men have in common?
 

Here's a clue...
The first guy is Michael Steele...Chariman of the RNC.
The second guy in Bobby Jindal...Governor of Louisiana
The third guy is Rush Limbaugh...Conservative radio talk show host.

A:  The first guy represents a current leader in the Republican Party...the second guy represents the "future" of the Republican Party...and the third guy is a hypocritical, douchebag blowhard who has been spending the last couple of months having his salad tossed by the first two guys...and any other Republican who "dares" challenge his authority.  Yeah...that's the way to show that you've got your finger on the pulse of what the American people need.  BUT IF YOU'RE A MINORITY GROUP THAT FEELS ABANDONED BY THE REPUBLICAN PARTY...STOP YOUR WORRYING BECAUSE THE REPUBLICAN PARTY IS GOING TO WIN YOU BACK WITH...a...ummmm....public relations campaign?!?

"We need messengers to really capture that region -- young, Hispanic, black, a cross section ... We want to convey that the modern-day GOP looks like the conservative party that stands on principles. But we want to apply them to urban-suburban hip-hop settings."  RNC Chair Michael Steele (Washington Times)


THAT!  Just so my head's clear here...abortion is "murder" and goes "against God's plan" but THIS is okay?!?



I know we're not supposed to question "God" or pretend to know what "His/Her/Its" intentions are, but I've GOT to think that somewhere upstairs (The North Pole?) "God's" looking at this and going, "Jesus Christ, can't these fuckers get at least ONE thing of mine right?!?"


THE OTHER THING!  I'm gonna' go on record and say it...I'm a HUGE Lady GaGa fan.  I'm not sure how it happened, but I can't get her shit out of my head!


I was going to write some lame joke about being "Coo-Coo for GaGa" but after seeing it in print I decided instead to punch myself repeatedly in the face until the bad thoughts went away...

1 comment:

  1. Conan O'Brien is a Harvard graduate and that should impress you.

    Furthermore, O'Brien may have been uneasy and kinda flopping around his first few weeks, but it was okay because he was always naturally funny. Fallon isn't.

    And Limbaugh Is getting way too much talk time on MY MSNBC network. Chris Matthews can't seem to find any other topic this week.

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