"Water flows humbly to the lowest level. / Nothing is weaker than water, / Yet for overcoming what is hard and strong, / Nothing surpasses it."*

Let's play a little game, shall we?

(1)  Get a bag of marshmallows, like a bag of those old-school Kraft burn-on-a-stick-because-you-left-it-in-the-campfire-too-long-type big-ass marshmallows.

(2)  Fit as many marshmallows as you can in your mouth without (A) choking to death; (B) throwing up all over the place; or (C) being unable to breath.

(3)  With the marshmallows in your mouth, read the following to yourself in a normal, steady pace:

One- Mississippi

Two- Mississippi

Three- Mississippi

Four- Mississippi

Five- Mississippi

Six- Mississippi

Seven- Mississippi

Eight- Mississippi

Nine- Mississippi

Ten- Mississippi

Eleven- Mississippi

Twelve- Mississippi

Thirteen- Mississippi

Fourteen- Mississippi

Fifteen- Mississippi

Sixteen- Mississippi

Seventeen- Mississippi

Eighteen- Mississippi

Nineteen- Mississippi

Twenty- Mississippi

Twenty-One- Mississippi

Twenty-Two- Mississippi

Twenty-Three- Mississippi

Twenty-Four- Mississippi

Twenty-Five- Mississippi

Twenty-Six- Mississippi

Twenty-Seven- Mississippi

Twenty-Eight- Mississippi

Twenty-Nine- Mississippi

Thirty- Mississippi

Thirty-One- Mississippi

Thirty-Two- Mississippi

Thirty-Three- Mississippi

Thirty-Four- Mississippi

Thirty-Five- Mississippi

Thirty-Six- Mississippi

Thirty-Seven- Mississippi

Thirty-Eight- Mississippi

Thirty-Nine- Mississippi

Forty- Mississippi

SO NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE WATER BOARDED!!

Oh...wait a second...I forgot a few things.  You also have to make sure that you:

(1)  spit out the marshmallows;

(2)  are bound securely to an approximately 4'x7' inclined bench with your feet elevated;

(3)  are covering your forehead and eyes with a cloth;

(4)  have a soaking wet cloth lowered until it covers both your nose and your mouth;

(5)  have water continuously applied to the cloth (which is still covering your nose and mouth) from a height of twelve to twenty-four inches for 20 to 40 seconds.

(6)  say a small prayer that it's only going to happen once, because one full application of this could last up to TWENTY minutes (according to a memo from The United States Office of Legal Council in 2002).

THAT is water boarding.

THAT...ladies and gentlemen...is torture.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed: water boarded 183 times in March 2003 (approx. 6 times/day)

Abu Zubaydah: water boarded 83 times in August 2002 (approx. 2-1/2 times/day)

I'm not saying that these were innocent men.  Far from it.

But we're the UNITED fucking STATES OF AMERICA!  We're better than this.  We have to be...we NEED to be!  Because even if you're okay with this...even if you feel like the United States shouldn't take the high road...remember this:

If we torture, we're giving the rest of the world "blank check" to do the same to our people.

Our sons...daughters...nephews...nieces...grandsons...granddaughters...wives...husbands...friends.

We're better than this...

*Lao-Tzu (Tao Te Ching)