FACT #1: Chuck Norris lost a fight to Bruce Lee.
FACT #2: Sam Elliott never lost a fight to Bruce Lee.
FACT #3: Sam Elliott’s Moustache would make Bruce Lee cross the street if Bruce Lee saw it walking towards him on the street.
FACT #4: A platypus can store food it collects in cheek pouches to consume on land. They do not have teeth so they use bits of gravel to help them crush their food.
Thus…applying a cross-section of principles involving logic, philosophy, reason and faith…taking into consideration the first three facts…and throwing out the fourth fact because it doesn’t have a damn thing to do with what we’re talking about…we can only come to one conclusion:
Sam Elliott’s Moustache is the deadliest living thing on this or any other planet.
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