Do You Know What This Is?

In these times of social unrest...financial instability...political upheaval...

Consider this a mother-fuckin' warning!

"THE COW" IS BACK...AND IT TAKES NO PRISONERS, BITCHES!! >;-)

Watch This Space! (T-Minus 29 hrs, 46 min.)

While BCMD!-TV is still on its way, let's not forget...

WELCOME TO THE BEGINNING OF ...BCMD! v.2.0

Just when you thought things couldn't get more naughty...

Just when you thought my ego had finally reached its limit...

After weeks of failed experiments and the mess of "disposing" of test subjects...

It's coming.

This week.

...BECAUSE COWS MAKE DELICIOUS!

v.2.0 (Video Blogging)

Wanda Sykes: Funniest...Woman...EVER!

A slow-clap round of applause and a big "THUMBS UP" to Wanda Sykes and her wonderfully cringe-inducing routine at this year's White House Correspondents Dinner.

"Boy, Rush Limbaugh said he hopes this administration fails – so you said you hope America fails…To me, that's treason. He's not saying anything differently than what Osama bin Laden is saying. You know, you might want to look into this, sir, 'cause I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker, but he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight." 

"Rush Limbaugh – 'I hope the country fails,'...I hope his kidneys fail, how 'bout that. He needs a good water boarding, that's what he needs." 

"He (Dick Cheney) scares me to death. I tell my kids, I say, 'Look, if two cars pull up and one has a stranger and the other car has Dick Cheney, you get in the car with the stranger.'" 

For those of you who actually have the cajones to feel sorry for Rush Limbaugh and feel that he was treated "unfairly," google him online and check out some of his "choice cuts":

ON MICHAEL J. FOX AND HIS BATTLE WITH PARKINSON'S DISEASE:

"He is exaggerating the effects of the disease. He's moving all around and shaking and it's purely an act... This is really shameless of Michael J Fox. Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting."

ON THE IMPORTANCE OF AFRICAN-AMERICANS HAVING A "VOICE":

"They're 12 percent of the population. Who the hell cares?"

ON THE ABU GHRAIB PRISON ABUSE SCANDAL:

"This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation, and we're going to ruin people's lives over it, and we're going to hamper our military effort, and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time. You know, these people are being fired at every day. I'm talking about people having a good time, these people."

Wow, it sucks to be on the other end. I'm just sayin'...

Music To Soothe (or Enrage) The Savage Beast...

So I make it a point of DVR'ing music video blocks on MTV2, VH1 and FUSE because...

(A)...it's always important to be up to date on what "The Kids" are listening to ("Those young whippersnappers with their rock-n-roll, drugs and Facebook!)...

(B)...because the DVR is the best invention since boxer briefs, potbelly pigs and Raspberry Blondes ("It's two...two...two alcohols in one!")...

(C)...usually they wait until 3am to FINALLY start showing a block of videos.

So because a couple of new or "new-ish" songs have crept onto my iPod (and because my Mom always taught me that it was nice to share with others), here's what I'm throwin' at 'ya this time:

CAGE THE ELEPHANT  "Ain't No Rest for The Wicked"

THIS is the kind of song you want playing every time you're walking down a hall or first entering a room.  This will make that walk down the hall to the bathroom the most BAD-ASSED walk down the hall to the bathroom that you've ever had.

GREEN DAY  "Know Your Enemy"

How do you follow-up a modern classic like AMERICAN IDIOT?  By crafting this balls-to-the-wall number as a major "FUCK YOU!" to anyone who thinks the boys are getting soft or that they blew their load with their last album.  Shit, even "Rolling Stone" gave 21ST CENTURY BREAKDOWN four-and-a-half stars out of five.

K'NAAN (w/Chubb Rock)  "ABC's"

I'm always fascinated by songs that can hook you in with a great beat and a solid line, and then after a few listenings you realize that the subject matter REALLY doesn't match up with the beat...and that's a good thing!  It's like when Ronald Reagan used "Born in the U.S.A." as his campaign song and movie studios used Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life" in trailers for brain-dead romantic comedies and vomit-inducing family films.  Shit, REALLY listening to M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" got my mind moving in a different direction then when I think about it in PINEAPPLE EXPRESS.

ALL THAT REMAINS  "Two Weeks"

You can't go wrong with a song so intense that on one hand would be great to work out to, but on the other hand would scare the shit out of you if it suddenly came on in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night. VERY intense in a smooth, melodic, Doc Martens-sort of way...great wedding song!

Whatever Doesn't Kill You...CAN STILL HURT LIKE A SUNOVABITCH!!!

So last week was what we would call in "The Business" one muthafucka' of a week, with most of my time spent trying to keep about fifteen plates all spinning at the same time.  Needless to say, the cows weren't happy...and the last thing you want is a bunch of angry, bored, heavily armed bovine lookin' for trouble.  In the immortal words of the great thespian "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum." 

So I'm back on track with some cool, interesting and (hopefully) thought-provoking shit coming your way this week including:

* NEW "RULES" FOR LIVING/LEARNING/LOVING IN NYC!

* COOL SOUNDS THAT FOUND THEIR WAY TO MY iPOD!

* POSTS ON "GROWING UP VS. GROWING OLD" AND "MEANINGLESS WORDS"!

* RANDOM OBSERVATIONS ON ALL THE WORLD'S WEIRD SHIT!

* A ...BCMD! FIRST:  OUR VERY FIRST MUSIC REVIEW!

* ...AND A FEW SURPRISES THAT EVEN I'M NOT SURE ABOUT YET!

All brought to you with the same cynically optimistic, militantly Democratic, left-leaning crazed bias that you've come to know, love and adore.

So keep your eyes open this week...and until then, a little something to bring you to a higher level on enlightenment:

"Water flows humbly to the lowest level. / Nothing is weaker than water, / Yet for overcoming what is hard and strong, / Nothing surpasses it."*

Let's play a little game, shall we?

(1)  Get a bag of marshmallows, like a bag of those old-school Kraft burn-on-a-stick-because-you-left-it-in-the-campfire-too-long-type big-ass marshmallows.

(2)  Fit as many marshmallows as you can in your mouth without (A) choking to death; (B) throwing up all over the place; or (C) being unable to breath.

(3)  With the marshmallows in your mouth, read the following to yourself in a normal, steady pace:

One- Mississippi

Two- Mississippi

Three- Mississippi

Four- Mississippi

Five- Mississippi

Six- Mississippi

Seven- Mississippi

Eight- Mississippi

Nine- Mississippi

Ten- Mississippi

Eleven- Mississippi

Twelve- Mississippi

Thirteen- Mississippi

Fourteen- Mississippi

Fifteen- Mississippi

Sixteen- Mississippi

Seventeen- Mississippi

Eighteen- Mississippi

Nineteen- Mississippi

Twenty- Mississippi

Twenty-One- Mississippi

Twenty-Two- Mississippi

Twenty-Three- Mississippi

Twenty-Four- Mississippi

Twenty-Five- Mississippi

Twenty-Six- Mississippi

Twenty-Seven- Mississippi

Twenty-Eight- Mississippi

Twenty-Nine- Mississippi

Thirty- Mississippi

Thirty-One- Mississippi

Thirty-Two- Mississippi

Thirty-Three- Mississippi

Thirty-Four- Mississippi

Thirty-Five- Mississippi

Thirty-Six- Mississippi

Thirty-Seven- Mississippi

Thirty-Eight- Mississippi

Thirty-Nine- Mississippi

Forty- Mississippi

SO NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE WATER BOARDED!!

Oh...wait a second...I forgot a few things.  You also have to make sure that you:

(1)  spit out the marshmallows;

(2)  are bound securely to an approximately 4'x7' inclined bench with your feet elevated;

(3)  are covering your forehead and eyes with a cloth;

(4)  have a soaking wet cloth lowered until it covers both your nose and your mouth;

(5)  have water continuously applied to the cloth (which is still covering your nose and mouth) from a height of twelve to twenty-four inches for 20 to 40 seconds.

(6)  say a small prayer that it's only going to happen once, because one full application of this could last up to TWENTY minutes (according to a memo from The United States Office of Legal Council in 2002).

THAT is water boarding.

THAT...ladies and gentlemen...is torture.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed: water boarded 183 times in March 2003 (approx. 6 times/day)

Abu Zubaydah: water boarded 83 times in August 2002 (approx. 2-1/2 times/day)

I'm not saying that these were innocent men.  Far from it.

But we're the UNITED fucking STATES OF AMERICA!  We're better than this.  We have to be...we NEED to be!  Because even if you're okay with this...even if you feel like the United States shouldn't take the high road...remember this:

If we torture, we're giving the rest of the world "blank check" to do the same to our people.

Our sons...daughters...nephews...nieces...grandsons...granddaughters...wives...husbands...friends.

We're better than this...

*Lao-Tzu (Tao Te Ching)