"...BCMD!" Presents...XTREME PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH!!*

*There's actually nothing really "extreme" about this...just thought it might grab your attention and lead you here. And since you're reading this...well...

You wanna' know what one of the most commonly-asked questions I get asked on this site, on Facebook, on the street and on weekends when I'm working my second job as a phone sex operator?

"What do you think makes a good peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich, Ray?"

...BCMD! PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH

Ingredients:

1 - 16oz. jar Skippy Creamy Roasted Honey Nut Peanut Cutter

(Some people will argue that you should use "chunky" instead of "creamy." Those people are Communist kid-touchers and should be ignored at all costs; otherwise, the terrorists win.)

1 - 12oz. jar Smuckers Strawberry Jelly

(Grape is an acceptable substitute. All other flavors (especially peach and apricot) are an affront to humanity and should be exterminated with due prejudice. "Apricot"! REALLY?!?)

1 - small loaf Stroehmann Potato Bread

(Stroehmann Potato Bread is moist and delicious...and you don't even have to save the end pieces until last. Some people remove the crusts "because of the taste." Those people are pussies.)

1 - 8oz glass Milk (skim)

(Don't argue with me on this one. The lighter milk helps you appreciate the taste of the peanut butter and jelly more. Trust me.)
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Directions:

(1) Take two slices of bread, and spread peanut butter evenly on one slice and then spread jelly evenly on the other slice.

(2) The amount of peanut butter and jelly that you put on the slices is up to you but...YOU HAVE TO SPREAD IT EVENLY AND ACROSS THE ENTIRE SURFACE OF THE SLICE! No gaps...no "light spots"...no cutting corners as you get close to the crust. You want an even amount of taste in EVERY bite.

(3) Put both slices together (peanut butter and jelly should be gently pressed) and clean-up any excess along the crust.

(4) Throw it on a plate, grab that glass of skim milk and...ENJOY!!

(NOTE: ...BCMD! fully endorses the use of Nutella)