GOOD NEWS / BAD NEWS

BAD NEWS!

Well, clearly my body decided to not hold up its end of the bargain and basically abandoned me a little after 4a.m. this morning. Perhaps the biggest lesson I gained from this is that if you're agonna' pull an "all-nighter," you should at least make sure that you get more than four hours the night before. Sorry I wasn't able to follow it all the way through but I intend to finish strong.


GOOD NEWS!

I REALLY LOVE DONG THIS SITE AGAIN...AND I HAVE ALL OF YOU WHO'VE BEEN READING AND POSTING TO THANK FOR THAT!! I let a lot of personal and professional drama keep me from doing what I love to do: write. As much as I have TREMENDOUS respect for those who write fiction...the ability to create your own worlds and universes for you to "play in" is one of the most fascinating aspects of the creative process... I find myself endlessly fascinated by the world around me. Just look at the issue of "Men & Women" and all of the endless dialogues that can be had on why we "do" what we "do." The best part, though, is that writing gets the conversation started. I've always been a big believer that most of the day-to-day problems in our lives could be settled by exchanging three honest and direct sentences with those we have issue with. We don't have to keep following "The Same Old Script" day in and day out. By writing...by talking...by communicating what we truly feel we can move past the "stereotypes" that each of us (whether we realize it or not) sometimes finds comfort in embracing like a warm, wool blanket.

So that's why I do this...and why I'll continue to keep doing this. So sit back...buckle up...and enjoy the ride! It may get a little bumpy at times...there may be some sharp turns and sudden drops along the way...but aren't those the things that make Life kinda' cool? ;-)

So What Do I Find Funny on the Internet?

That's easy! Three things...

Professional Wrestling Bloopers

Local New Bloopers

Funny Sports Accidents

...And Now A Little Something From The Mailbag Marked "BIZZARRO WORLD"!

This question has not been altered in any way, shape or form. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Q: How many hairs do you have in your head?

A: Ummm...none? Though the thought of my brain floating in my skull covered with wall-to-wall hair does freak me out a bit.

Wow. Must be getting late... ;-)

Something About a Goose and a Gander and Their "Good" Being The Same. I Always Forget That Damn Phrase!

So someone sent me the age-old topic of why it's "okay" for guys to get their "eff-on" before they settle down and get married, but not for girls. In the short answer...it's not.

Unfortunately, you're also talking about fighting back decades upon decades of sexism in this country. Only now are we really starting to look at the problem head-on and truly address it.

Society has perpetuated the sterotype of the man as the "seed-spreader" and the woman as the "embracing mother." That type of broad-brushing is what led to the double standards we have today.

My feeling has always been that if you're doing what makes you happy and you're doing it in a healthy manner so that you're not messing-up others...do whatever makes your socks roll up and down. The best advice I could give...and this would apply to both genders...is to understand and respect the importance of keeping your own privacy. Don't lost control over who knows what goes on in your private life. There are WAY too many "drama leeches" out there that love to suck on to any little bit of gossip they can get their tentacles on. Other than that...live your life the way you want. The way that makes you happy.

Besides, ladies, guys don't want virgins in bed...they just don't want to think about how you got your skills or at least believe that each guy met a violent, painful death immediately afterward. ;-)

It's All Greek To Me...

Someone asked that I address the topic of Greek Life taking over the institution that I work at, but I think I'm going to go a little broader with the topic and address the importance of Greek Life.

Just to be clear...when we reference "Greek Life" we are NOT talking about a large influx of residents of Greece. No, we're talking about social fraternities and sororities that are both local as well as nationally affiliated.

Just to be transparent...my best friends in college were in a fraternity and I advised fraternities and sororities for twelve years.


I believe that Greek Life can be a valuable asset to pretty much any college or university, but for that to happen two things need to take place:

(1) Institutions need to move beyond the old stereotypes of fraternities and sororities.

(2) Organizations must adjust to the times and consider things like financial cost, time responsibility and what now constitutes hazing.

Clearly, for the first thing to happen the second must already be in motion. Where the biggest obstacle lies with the organizations is this peer-pressured "legacy of hate" that is wrapped in a blanket called "tradition" and passed down from one pledge class to the next. You got your's...so you're gonna' make sure they get their's. But what does breakin' wood over a man's ass teach about brotherhood? What does having a group of girls walk around campus all wearing shirts that read, "I Give Great Head!" teach about sisterhood? As corny as some people think it is, national organizations and their chapters that have legitimately moved away from hazing and concentrated more on community service, academic superiority and extracurricular involvement saw not only a rise in their chapter numbers but also had longer retention rates. That means more men joined...and they stayed around longer.

I'm not looking to turn this into some type of sermon. As I said...I'm a big proponent of Greek Life. The bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood that you can build...bonds that connect you with other all across the country...aid in leadership growth and development. But if national organizations and their chapters, as well as local organizations, continue blindly embracing "traditions" that run directly againest current hazing laws then all they will be doing is feeding into the stereotypes that are already pervasive. In the end, you want your letters to mean something...to endure. Not just be a memory.

We Interrupt This Marathon For A Word About Our Sponsors...

I'd like to take a moment to thank some people who've been a big help tonight and in the past in getting the word out about "...BECAUSE COWS MAKE DELICIOUS!!" and the best place to start is with...

TEAM PHNX - DJPHNX.COM

AWESOME chatroom party taking place LIVE tomorrow night, Sunday, October 11th beginning at 7:30pm. Click on the link above, set-up a profile page...and I'll see you there tomorrow night!

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Breaking ground 10/18/09...an online entertainment foundation unlike any other site you've ever been to.




"I get by with a little help from my friends...I get high with a little help from my friends..." :-)

Hot vs. Sexy vs. Cute

HOT
To me, when something's "hot" then it has a sudden and intense attraction toward it. It may be arousing and exciting now, but it usually has a short shelf life. Someone or something "hot" usually has its "Fifteen Minutes of Fame" before it either fades away or proves itself worth for the long haul to be...

SEXY
I LOVE "SEXY"!! "Sexy" is great because it cover so many things: a look, a voice, a style, an attitude. "Sexy" isn't restricted by the bullshit roadblocks that society constantly put out there. "Sexy" has such a personal feel to it that it opens up so many avenues. For example, I could find a woman sexy based totally on her attitude, demeanor and personality. Then again, it could be something as simple as a laugh, a smile or how she plays with her hair. Yeah..."sexy" cover alot of ground and requires a bit of a deeper emotional and psychological investment...even during those times when we can't understand why we're attracted to the things we are. Those "guilty pleasures" we afford ourselves.

CUTE
Unless it's being applied to children or small animals, I find "cute" about as useful as "interesting." To me, "cute" is a vague, non-committal response that gives the user a "parachute" to escape giving a more detailed opinion. I mean, if you're gonna' call me "cute" and I know that you thought E.T. was "cute"...well...what the fuck?!?

The one thing that ties them all together, though? They're all found in THIS guy:
























Ooooooooooooooooh...yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... ;-)

"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures."

Special thanks to Henry Ward Beecher...and Quoteland.com! ;-)

So I was asked which artists I appreciate and why...and it's never the former that I have a problem with. The latter, on the other hand...

There's something about each of these artists that impacts both my heart and mind at the same time. More than just appreciating their themes, they speak volumes about Life and our role in it, and how we sometimes need to embrace even the uglier aspects of Life. How can you appreciate a sunrise if there's no sunset to compare it to? For example, Coop's "Devil's Advocate" represents the need in society for those who ask the questions most people are afraid to ask. Pettibon's Anatomy series adds a realistic look at the affairs of the heart, and helps me to see the beauty even in the things we take for granted. So here's who I'm going with:

Raymond Pettibon
Keith Haring
Coop

We've got a special request comin' in...

This was probably one of more "interesting" requests I've had come in through the site...but because you asked, Amanda, you shall receive! ;-)

I barely had time to slouch down in my chair and prop my feet up on the desk for some well-deserved log-sawin' when she came through the door. From the moment she glided into the room, I knew my night was gonna' be far from over and Trouble was gonna' be riding shotgun the rest of the night. If I'd only locked the front door. If I only went to O'Malley's instead of drinkin' alone. But you know what a bunch of "if's" and a nickel get 'ya? A cup of coffee.

Before I could even straighten up, she started.

"I understand you're a private investigator, Mr. Flook. That's excellent, for I am definitely in need of one. My name is Amanda...."


I knew we were startin' to get personal...and I wasn't ready for that until I knew what the score was.

"We got time for all of that later, "Amanda." Why're you here? It's a little late to wanna' have someone follow your hubby."

Usually it's the smile and attitude that help me get the upperhand...but not this dame. She wasn't havin' any of it. Without battin' an eye, she cut right through.

"Well then let me get right to the point, Mr. Flook. I'm here to hire you..."

She paused slightly...almost as if she lost herself for a moment but put together a quick recovery.

"I'm here to hire you...because I'm afraid that I may kill my husband."

Oh boy. I smell a scotch-and-breakfast calling my name. Sleep's overrated anyway.

TO BE CONTINUED...SOMEDAY!! lol :-)

"COW-A-THON 2009" HOUR #4: Some Good Music You've Heard Lately...

Videos are hyperlinked with the artist/title:

Foo Fighters "Wheels"

Jay Z w/ Rhianna & Kanye West "Run This Town Tonight"

Miley Cyrus "Party in the U.S.A."

(I know! I know! The shit's addictive!)

Train "Hey, Soul Sister!"

Lady GaGa "Papparazzi"

Rob Thomas "Someday"

"COW-A-THON 2009" HOUR #3: Share A Personal Story That Will Give Us Insight into A Side of You Most of Us Haven't Seen (Part I)

Interestingly enough, I received this topic from two different posters. I'll save the other one for later on (Ooooooh...a cliffhanger!).

I don't know how morbid this may or may not be, but I came across the tiny aticle in The Daily News almost two years ago...and I carry the laminated original in my wallet to this day.

While death of this type is always sad...it was her need to be noticed and not be alone...even in the end...that got to me. I keep is a reminder of how important it is for all of us to make a difference...to be connected...to remind others (and ourselves) that we matter, that we mean something no matter how bad things may get at times.

Here it is:



Elderly woman kills herself on East Side park bench in John Jay Park
By ALISON GENDAR DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Thursday, December 6th 2007, 4:00 AM
An elderly woman killed herself on a Manhattan park bench and left a suicide note saying she didn't want her death to go unnoticed, police sources said Wednesday.
The unidentified woman was found in John Jay Park at 76th St. and the FDR Drive about 7:20 a.m.; she had stabbed herself in the stomach. In her note, she said she didn't want to die alone in her apartment.

"COW-A-THON 2009" HOUR #2: Say Something Bad About President Obama

Apparently, there's this "misconception" going around that I look at our President through rose-colored glasses...that I can only see his attributes and not his faults.

Not true...dear citizens. Not true. What I AM doing is still lovin' the idea that we have a President who (even if you don't agree with his politics) you can look at and go, "Wow. Now he could easily be the smartest man in the room." The previous eight years? Ehhh...not so much. And deep down, I know both sides of the aisle believe that.

But President Obama isn't perfect. The two things that come to mind are:

(1) Removing the "Don't Ask/Don't Tell" Policy and putting an end to DOMA. In fact, he's been draggin'-ass on alot of issues impacting the LGBTT community. Patience doesn't last forever...and he shouldn't assume that this wouldn't impact him and other Democrats in the future.

(2) Dismissing outright even the consideration of legalizing marijuana as a new cash-crop and long-term economic stimulus. And for those of you lookin' to get on your "high horse"... I'll listen after you find a way to justify keeping alcohol and cigarettes legal but pot isn't. Hell, even Governor Schwarzenegger has commissioned a state survey to examine the economic benefits of legalizing it. Don't be "THAT guy"...you're daughters will love you for it later. ;-)

"COW-A-THON 2009" HOUR 1: A Little On What This Is About...and Some Randomly Submitted Questions

WELCOME!! WELCOME BACK!!

Whether you're here for the first time or kind enough to give this site another chance, it's nice to know that you're taking some of your precious time to peep what I have to write. Much appreciated.

So why "COW-A-THON 2009"?

To be honest, I've been in a "bit" of a writer's block for the past few months. Let way too much personal and professional drama screw-up my creative drive...but I'm pretty damn sure it's back. So for my own sanity...and as a big "THANK YOU" to those who rode around with the site in the past. So let's get this baby rollin'...

RAY'S RANDOM QUESTIONS

The hourly postings are gonna' take on a wide variety of formats...but I figured with twenty-four hours to go I should pace myself a little bit. So let's start with some randomly submitted questions...

Can you prove wrestling is fake?

Yes. In fact, the WWE actually posts job listings for writers to create story lines. Even stranger, Freddie Prinz Jr. is actually employed by the WWE for just that thing.

Having said that... NO ONE should call into question the athleticism and skill that you have to have to perform and live the life of a professional wrestler. This is a PERFECT example of what can go wrong when a move just doesn't work out.

What do you think about the David Letterman extortion plot and sex scandal?

As long as there are no HR/legal issues coming out of it, I honestly don't see what the big deal is...I really don't. In fact, I think politicians should take a page out of Letterman's playbook: he went to the authorities, he came out and addressed it, he's made fun of himself to offset any outside attacks. In the end, he's gonna' come out of this better than ever. Hell, it gives him an "edge" in a lot of women's minds right now. He's had a helluva' PR team working for him...they deserve every penny they get for this one.

Who's your favorite superhero and why?

Superman. He is the true personification of a hero. He comes from a home that he can never return to, trying to fit in on a world that will always be strange to him. Yet with all of his power and strength...he chooses to humble himself by living the life of a man while protecting this planet from all that would do it harm. He doesn't ask for thanks or gifts...his satisfaction is knowing that people can sleep at night with a sense of hope. Yet for all of that...you can't help but feel that small bit of loneliness hiding just behind the smile. Yup...DEFINITELY Superman.

Why is it that guys like girls calling them "Daddy"?

Gotta' be honest with 'ya...I think that shit's a little weird but to each their own.

Though now that I think about it...being called "papi" WOULD be fuckin' hot... Hmmm...

Back in a little bit... ;-)

"COW-A-THON 2009" STARTS TODAY!!!!!

So what better way to get the site back on the map then with a little stunt I affectionately refer to as...

"COW-A-THON 2009"!!!

Starting at 4:20pm on Saturday, October 10th, and finishing up at 4:20pm on Sunday, October 11th, I'll be posting AT LEAST one post per hour with the topics chosen strictly by YOU! There may be more...the later hours are gonna' get kinda' interesting...but I'm definitely running this gauntlet for 24 hours straight!

See 'ya back here in about three hours... AND KEEP SENDING ME TOPIC IDEAS!!! ;-)